you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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