the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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