Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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