i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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