So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
