I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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