A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
