Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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