Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
