brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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