i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It's rum buckets o'clock
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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