hotel room ftw
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
