Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
