So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
