i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
