So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Rumble strips road head = magical
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
