i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
