you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize