I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
