Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
