You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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