ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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