if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
