I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
