Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize