come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
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She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
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I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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