My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
