Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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