Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
