Duck Duck Cougar?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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