No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
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i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
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She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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