the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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