i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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