When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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