college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Panties = found
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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