Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Can you bring me the toilet please
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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