So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
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You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
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I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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