So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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