I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
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Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.