I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
