Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
