Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
