u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
