She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
