God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
