eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
