His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
