i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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