It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
