I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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