If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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