We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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