I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
