I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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