My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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