some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
There's always time for handjobs
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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