Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
