im about as happy as oj after his trial
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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