from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My vagina is very pro this idea
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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