Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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