8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
