I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
