That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
